Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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