Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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