Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
and she was petting her beer can
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
