Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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