great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
