i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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