Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize