Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
