Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
