Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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