Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
