Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
