u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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