I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
