Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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