When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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