I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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