Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
