Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
