I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
