I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You are the jesus of drinking
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
