If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
