tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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