I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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