Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
