best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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