It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
nutella sex= disaster
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
