And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I believe in your delicious
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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