You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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