There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
