Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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