Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
