I swear she didn't look like that last week.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
