we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize