well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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