Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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