Buhtt sex?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
