At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize