I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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