he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i believe in u and ur pee
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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