My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
