Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
