a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
