turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
