Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
