Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
