Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize