Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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