Sry I called you an 8
That's when you crack a 10am beer
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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