Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
