If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
