i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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