in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
