i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
