dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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