so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
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watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
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I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
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