He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
