Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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