I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.