she was so not down for the gang bang
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
