Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Fat chicks shouldn't bartend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Fat chicks shouldn't bartend http://tfl.nu/r18g
  Replies (245) Good night (981) Bad night (3657)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis. http://tfl.nu/tt6j
  Replies (11) Good night (633) Bad night (3849)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (660): i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again. http://tfl.nu/1pik
  Replies (17) Good night (835) Bad night (4414)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick http://tfl.nu/5e6v
  Replies (17) Good night (1150) Bad night (10093)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format? http://tfl.nu/bwcb
  Replies (26) Good night (11700) Bad night (1752)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): Did they have a limo or was i just stoned? http://tfl.nu/ui6f
  Replies (4) Good night (2108) Bad night (1043)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes. http://tfl.nu/34tx
  Replies (20) Good night (920) Bad night (2438)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots http://tfl.nu/4z37
  Replies (3) Good night (1418) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship" http://tfl.nu/hte5
  Replies (14) Good night (1390) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen http://tfl.nu/aug1
  Replies (14) Good night (977) Bad night (2634)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america http://tfl.nu/igww
  Replies (8) Good night (1845) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died. http://tfl.nu/jcdc
  Replies (7) Good night (1541) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion http://tfl.nu/imr6
  Replies (3) Good night (821) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.

  (719): View more from Colorado

  This has been a Party Success Story

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets. (719): This has been a Party Success Story http://tfl.nu/swco
  Replies (7) Good night (1051) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk. http://tfl.nu/mqv9
  Replies (2) Good night (232) Bad night (559)

Randomize