I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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