words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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