well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
