Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.

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(614): View more from Ohio

He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick

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(623): View more from Arizona

everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.

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21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
Read it at the TFLN blog
(250): View more from British Columbia

Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed

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(907): View more from Alaska

Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.

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(509): View more from Washington

Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.

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(914): View more from New York

Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.

(917): View more from New York City

So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.

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