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I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
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