You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
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He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
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Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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