We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful