i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.