doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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