im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize