You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
