I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Boobs speak an international language.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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