I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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