her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize