Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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